Monday, February 05, 2007

OMG

I am beyond exhausted. This baby boy is F.U.S.S.Y. I'm only getting about an hour and a half total of sleep a night because he gets started screaming at about 11pm and goes until about 6-6:30am.

Our Ped has switched us to Prevacid and I'm hoping that in time it will help with some of his screaming with his bottles... I'm pretty sure that his little esophagus is raw from the refux and will need extra time to heal before he starts feeling better.

He also is having a VERY hard time (no pun intended) with his BMs. In the NICU, he was pretty much glycerin dependent and it hurt him terribly to go because it was so firm. I know that he had his last BM in the NICU on Wednesday and he has been trying to go since we brought him home. He started Miralax on Saturday but it can't soften what was already in the colon so we have to wait for this first BM to pass before the Miralax makes him more comfortable.

I just want a little sleep...!!!

And Margaret isn't adjusting to the baby very well at all. She seems downright depressed even though I have spent every moment that I'm not trying to get William to settle down with her. We've had lots of one on one play time and plenty of cuddles but she still just seems so sad. It breaks my heart and I feel so guilty. Am I a bad Mommy for having William while she still needs me so much? Do I have the skill to be a good Mommy to two babies so close in age? I'm having serious doubts about myself these days...

I know everyone wants to see pics of our new addition. So here are a couple from the last few days.







6 comments:

Meghann said...

Aw hun, here's some cyber hugs.

It will get better, I PROMISE. My third was a preemie and with everything that happened the older two got shipped off to my in-laws for a month. After they got home my then 18 month old was not happy with me, or the new intruder.

She got over it, things moved on, and everything is ok these days.

You are a wonderful mom. Everyone was so inspired by your attitude during bedrest and everything. You have given Margaret the gift of a sibling. She may not appreciate it right now, but she will someday.

You know I and tons of other people are all here for you. If you need to vent, or need anything at all, seriously, anything, just email!

Amanda said...

You are a wonderful mom! Sending hugs and prayers! It will get better!!!

Margaret said...

Oh, the joys of motherhood.:-( In time you will love having both of them together! If anyone can do this it is Lisa! You're a tough cookie and won't let two little tykes get the best of you as hard as they might try.

Sibling sharing learned early strengthens character.

How about a photo of William screaming? Only see him asleep.

Call me if you need to or just want to.

Mom

Reg said...

It will get better. Before long Margaret will be playing with William like he's her baby. Let me know if I can do anything. I have great earplugs.

Anonymous said...

Lisa-
Hang in there you are a great mom. Margret will get used to having a new baby. I hope things get better for you soon. All of us on PP are thinking about you and your family.
Leslie (ny2tn)

Billie said...

It seems to me that you are doing a fabulous job with all that you have on your plate. I feel for you, I really do.

Whenever I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed (which is often), I try to remember that IT WILL PASS. Soon this stage will be over and you'll be on to worrying about something new.

One regret I have now, is that I spent too much time worrying over every little (and big) thing, and didn't take enough time to enjoy the good. So, I know it's extremely hard sometimes, but try to enjoy your beautiful little guy, and your sweet toddler as much as you can!

And remember...it WILL pass.