Thursday, March 29, 2007

First Smile!

My babies are working really hard this week!

William gave me his first awake smile this morning. For a while he has been yawning whenever he looks (can find) me and I thought that was really weird. He'd meet my gaze and immediately yawn. David had wondered outloud if maybe William was trying to smile and getting mixed up. I'm not sure if that is what it is but this morning William found my face for a second, gave a little smile, and then promptly yawned. I gave him a kiss and then he did it again.

I'll try to capture this if/when he does it again but you know how hard it is to catch a fleeting grin on film.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

First Step

I'm am so excited! Margaret took her first step to her Daddy this evening. It took a LOT of coaxing and she just took one... but HOORAY!!!! She didn't even have on her Dafo PattiBobs to help her feel more stable! I'm so proud of her!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Muffin Man

I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before, but William is a projectile vomiter. He projectile vomits two or three times a day and spews vomit several feet. Old Faithful, I call him. Even though he vomits (not spit up) so much, he has still been gaining weight very well. The last time he went to the ped, he had gained a pound in the previous thirteen days. So we hadn't been too worried about the vomit. But now, in addition to the ear infections, he seems to have a very hard time eating and I hear what sounds like him refluxing as he is taking his bottle. The past few days it has affected how much he eats and he is really fighting the bottle. I'm not sure if it is reflux (what it sounds like to me) or if he is having trouble sucking because of the ear infections and is swallowing a bunch of air. It worries me and I am going to take him to the doctor asap.

I think William is also showing signs of his vision impairment now. He seems to prefer to look at objects by turning his head. He also seems to have a hard time locating objects that he hears unless they are moving. Thus, he loves to stare at my mouth. When looking around, he seems to get easily overstimulated and starts to panic and whips his head from side to side. His next ophtho appointment is in six weeks so I hope she will be able to give me some idea how much he sees at this point and if the other behaviors are signs that he is having trouble seeing.

William is also very hypertonic. He is often stiff as a board and I can lift him with one hand. I'm pretty sure that the bulk of his stiffness is because of his reflux. He is not, however, showing any spacicity yet. The Neuro said not to expect to see any spastic signs until about 3 months adjusted. Right now he is only six weeks adjusted so we have a while still.

On a good note, I can tell he is getting ready to smile at me. He is still very serious but every now and then when I am singing a silly song to him, I swear he is going to smile at me. He is also good at tummy time and his head control is getting better (when he isn't whipping his head around).

Margaret is starting to show that she likes William. Whenever I ask her about him or she sees him, she gets a big smile on her face. When she is feeling especially social, she tries to "feed" him whatever she has on hand. Sometimes it is the fish food or the saline nose drops. One day after changing him, I stepped into the kitchen to throw away the dirty diaper. Upon my return, I noticed that William had a Cheerio stuck to his mouth. Margaret was sharing her precious Cheerios. So cute. (please note in the picture the broken monitor wires... I'm so bad.)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Eat In Chicken

The Zoo

This past Saturday we took Margaret and William to the Zoo. Margaret liked the animals but her reactions were a little different than what I expected.

Of course, the animals that were not moving might as well been invisible. I just could NOT get her to see a cheetah sleeping in the grass. On the occassion that she did see the sleeping animals, she was unimpressed. By far her favorites were the white tiger, the elephants, the macaques, and the macaws. She seemed very cautious, though, rather than the over the top excited I was hoping for. Still, she really had a good time seeing the animals and a better time watching hoards of boy scouts running wildly all around.

William slept in his sling like an angel the whole time.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Man of the Year

I am so lucky to have married a man as wonderful as my husband. I know that in this blog, he gets passing mentions but in our life he is the rock. He is the one who calms me when I can't take another minute of William's screaming. He is the one who comforts Margaret when she wakes in the middle of the night. He is the one who is eternally optimistic about our lives and our children. He listens to my deepest darkest feelings and secrets and doesn't think I'm a bad person. He is Daddy.

Daddy changes diapers, feeds babies (even really hard to feed babies), does laundry and vacuums, kisses away tears, is the best play buddy, and takes care of Mommy. He knows all the medications and proper dosages. He knows how to mix 22 calorie breastmilk and how to judge if nipple flow is correct.

People think I am a strong person, a good Mommy. And I do my best. But the truth is that my best wouldn't be half as good if I didn't have my husband's love and support.

There are no words to express how deeply grateful I am to have you as my partner in this not-so-easy life, David. A lesser man would have crumbled. I love you so much.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


As a preemie Mom, I have appreciated every single milestone that Margaret has accomplished. She has done such a great job for a baby who "will never make it". Thinking about how she came into this world has only made me more aware of every little advancement in her skills.

But, let me tell you, having a baby who has a prognosis of disability makes you appreciate every single fraction of a milestone. I've heard them called "inchstones" and there couldn't be a better word to describe them.

So, today I celebrate William's inchstones:
Holding head at midline when he is on his back!
Sucking on his fingers
Staring at the toys on his play gym
Reciprocal kicking
Hands in open, relaxed posture
More flexion than extension

What a good baby!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Sugar Kisses

My oral aversion baby gave me her first kiss tonight. I had been waiting for 19 months, 1 week, 1 day, 22 hours, and almost 30 minutes for that moment. It was wonderful.

Monday, March 05, 2007

My Evolution

Evidence 1: This morning I went to CVS armed with $20 of "CVS Bucks" to spend. I had vowed to buy something for myself because it has been so long since I have purchased a little "treat" just for me. Well, I scoured CVS and could find NOTHING to buy for myself... so what did I spend my money on? Diapers for Margaret and a few little things for her Easter basket.

Evidence 2: On the drive back from CVS, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I started singing with it and turned it up all the way. Yep, Neil Diamond.

Evidence 3: During my adventures this morning I was dressed to the nines. No makeup. Hair pulled back. Gray knit pants, black velour hoodie, comfortable shoes.

If ten years ago me saw this morning me, she would have said, "at least she's wearing black."